With the most romantic day of the year just around the corner, I want to talk a little bit about Valentine’s Day after marriage. There are so many opinions around this, and often a lot of guess work. If you’re in your engagement period, you’re probably wondering if it will even be celebrated after you tie the knot. Will it die off? Should we bother talking about it? If you’re married, you might be wondering if there’s a point to celebrating, or should you celebrate it if you haven’t yet? So, rather than doing a gift guide or an outfit post, I really just wanted to spend some time talking about the meaning of Valentine’s Day and what it might be like after you get married.
Before we got married, we planned our own little surprises and had our own special ideas to make it a memorable Valentine’s Day. A surprise bachata dance class, a fancy dinner, a love letter, etc. I’m sure you can relate and you’re now thinking about those romantic Valentine’s Day dates. While we were planning our wedding, one of the things we briefly talked about was celebrating Valentine’s Day after we get married. Communication is immeasurably important and I’m glad we took the time to talk about this topic, as significant or insignificant it may be. Both of us felt like there’s no need to treat it differently just because we will be married. We wanted to let it come naturally. So we decided it should definitely be acknowledged, but it’s not necessary that each year is a surprise or there’s a particular expectation. Regardless, surprises are harder to plan after you get married. Both of us felt comfortable with this decision and I’m glad we had that talk, leaving no room for guess work. Although it’s only our second Valentine’s Day after marriage, we are happy with our decision and plan to stick to it. Last year, we had landed in Australia just in time so we spent it at the South Australian wine country and this year we’re going for a mini getaway. Again, not too many surprise factors here, but it’s important to acknowledge the day and be on the same page about it.
If you’re engaged, or in a serious relationship, or even married for a few years but never spoke about this topic, I really recommend having a brief chat about it. Understand that it does not need to be extravagant, but any small gesture, depending on your love languages will make for a beautiful memory.
3 tips for having the “Valentine’s Day after Marriage” chat:
- Be clear. Explain why it’s important to be on the same page about this, in order to avoid disappointment when the day comes around. Communicate your expectations.
- Be understanding. Realize that either one of you may not be big on Valentine’s Day but communicate that acknowledging it is important to you and share the little ways your partner could help in making that happen.
- Be mindful. There’s a certain place and time for every conversation. You might not want to bring this up if for example, you’re both stressed out about cutting down your guest lists for the wedding. Let there be a relaxed atmosphere so your partner is more receptive to the idea of having this talk.
Simple enough, right? So with this thought, I hope you have a nice talk and remember that it’s a day to celebrate your love for one another. Happy Valentine’s Day!